2F/1M + 2 angels

Mr. Smottle Acquires
a Smaller Hat

20 minutes, comedy
2 chairs

Mr. Smottle returns with little time to take care of unfinished business.

20-minutes with play against sound effects.

The play opens when a flute playing angel appears in modern non-angelic clothes, has a brief conversation with her superiors about this being the right place or what. Mr. Smottle enters and interrupts the flute playing to inquire if they changed the transporter music. The angel departs saying that another angel will be down later to bring him back and he better get done what he has to do.

Slightly befuddled, Smottle addresses the audience and tells them, rather circuitously, that he is here to finish some business that he was interrupted in and that his mission is in the form of a short journey.

His first stop is the jewelers Cramp and Grunion where he goes to pick up a package. However it is not ready and he leaves with a promise to return for the package. While crossing the road, he is almost run over by a large truck. He escapes to a bus stop where he unsuccessfully tries to get aboard a bus and unsuccessfully hail a taxi. Finally he has to walk home.

Arriving home he finds his wife Martha in her usual chair, talking to her dead husband Smottle about how stupid he was to go and get himself killed. He explains and apologizes but she hears none of it.

For the next 15 minutes, Smottle alternates between his wife's home, his doctor's reception, the jewelers and many points in between (a micro Ulysses). Finally, he makes his peace with his troubled past and returns whence he came, having again left no footprint. He is forgotten.

Cast - 2F/1M + 2 angels

Smottle Middle aged man. Dead.
Martha Middle aged woman. Smottle's widow. Alive.
Sonya Young woman. Smottle's erstwhile lover. Very much alive.
Angels With flutes and trumpets.


20 minutes with prerecorded sound affects (available).


Empty except for two chairs.

Smottle showed up at the Six Play Buffet hosted by Theater Associates of Stillwater, MN and later at the MACT Fast*Fest 2006 in St. Cloud, MN.

Some years ago, I was crossing Grand Ave. near Dale St. in St. Paul, MN when a puff of wind blew the hat off a nearby pedestrian. Since it was a mere puff, I assumed that the man's head had shrunk since he bought the hat. Years of investigation followed as I attempted to discover why people's heads shrink. A contact from Theatre Associates of Stillwater, MN, finally provided the impetus to close the book on my investigation and present my report: Mr. Smottle Acquires a Smaller Hat.

Mr. Smottle a nondescript late-middle aged man is knocked down and killed while crossing the street having just bought a necklace for his wife as a peace offering and to atone for his dalliances with his doctor's assistant. Now, returning to finish his mission, he becomes aware that there are three levels of death: physical death, death of those who remember you, and death of those who ever heard of you. With each death, Smottle's persona grows smaller. In other words, his head shrinks.